Category: Outside World

“In terms of power and influence you can forget about the church, forget politics. There is no more powerful institution in society than business… The business of business should not be about money, it should be about responsibility. It should be about public good, not private greed.”
– Sanjay Dhir, Prashant Sree & Laxmi Narayanan G.

It all started with a 14 hours late train journey from Lucknow to Jaipur. Purpose: To visit a company, “Jaipur Rugs”, for case study. And during the course of next 3 days, I realized that it was much more than a company. Jaipur Rugs is a phenomenon, a firm with different vision, a firm which not only generates EVA (Economic Value Add) to the shareholders of the firm but also to society at large. “Service to community” is the core motive of the company and with a history of more than 20 years; it has been a boon for all – The villagers, local people, women, employees, and above all it has been a source of motivation for any person who wants to be an entrepreneur. Jaipur Rugs is a classic example of the fact that for being an epitome of success in business, one can tread on a different route (not necessarily a money centric approach) by serving the society on one hand and generating empowerment. Yes, „Empowerment‟ is the word I would prefer to call this, for, I see the sole reason for which Mr. N.K Chaudhary has build up his empire is not EVA but SVA (Society Vale Add).

Just imagine, a villager, in the outskirts of Jaipur is connected to the world by an „Onida‟ Television and has a splendour+ standing outside his house and all because of the handloom installed in his house by the noble souls of this firm. Amazing! The list will go on and on, with people employed at all the 80 odd stages of the process of carpets and rugs making and moreover all of them motivated to do their level best in their respective jobs.

Well, values and culture are two pillars of Jaipur Rugs, with each one complimenting each other. Mrs. Chaudhary plays a crucial role in this, with a motherly touch, to one and all. The hospitality which we (Prashant, Laxmi and I) received is worth a remembrance – for life!

This blog could run into pages and still will fall short of the real picture, which only could be experienced by interacting with the company per se, and especially Mr. Chaudhary and his family (including his daughter, wife and whole of the firm employees).

And last but not the least, the 14 hours late journey by train was worth a visit for such an inspiring and wonderful firm – “Jaipur Rugs”, especially for students like us. We learnt a lot and would like to contribute in every possible way; we can, to Jaipur Rugs.

Thank You

    1. Focus on grades or coursework

No one cares about grades in grad school.
There’s a simple formula for the optimal GPA in grad school:
Optimal GPA = Minimum Required GPA + ε
Anything higher implies time that could have been spent on research was wasted on classes. Advisors might even raise an eyebrow at a 4.0
During the first two years, students need to find an advisor, pick a research area, read a lot of papers and try small, exploratory research projects. Spending too much time on coursework distracts from these objectives.

    2.Learn too much

Some students go to Ph.D. school because they want to learn.
Let there be no mistake: Ph.D. school involves a lot of learning.
But, it requires focused learning directed toward an eventual thesis.
Taking (or sitting in on) non-required classes outside one’s focus is almost always a waste of time, and it’s always unnecessary.
By the end of the third year, a typical Ph.D. student needs to have read about 50 to 150 papers to defend the novelty of a proposed thesis.
Of course, some students go too far with the related work search, reading so much about their intended area of research that they never start that research.
Advisors will lose patience with “eternal” students that aren’t focused on the goal–making a small but significant contribution to human knowledge

    3.Expect perfection

Perfectionism is a tragic affliction in academia, since it tends to hit the brightest the hardest.
Perfection cannot be attained. It is approached in the limit.
Students that polish a research paper well past the point of diminishing returns, expecting to hit perfection, will never stop polishing.
Students that can’t begin to write until they have the perfect structure of the paper mapped out will never get started.
“Good enough” is better than “perfect.”


Chronic perfectionists also tend to be procrastinators.
So do eternal students with a drive to learn instead of research.
Ph.D. school seems to be a magnet for every kind of procrastinator.
Unfortunately, it is also a sieve that weeds out the unproductive.

    5.Go rogue too soon/too late

The advisor-advisee dynamic needs to shift over the course of a degree.
Early on, the advisor should be hands on, doling out specific topics and helping to craft early papers.
Toward the end, the student should know more than the advisor about her topic. Once the inversion happens, she needs to “go rogue” and start choosing the topics to investigate and initiating the paper write-ups. She needs to do so even if her advisor is insisting she do something else.
The trick is getting the timing right.
Going rogue before the student knows how to choose good topics and write well will end in wasted paper submissions and a grumpy advisor.
On the other hand, continuing to act only when ordered to act past a certain point will strain an advisor that expects to start seeing a “return” on an investment of time and hard-won grant money.

    6.Treat Ph.D. school like school or work

Ph.D. school is neither school nor work.
Ph.D. school is a monastic experience. And, a jealous hobby.
Solving problems and writing up papers well enough to pass peer review demands contemplative labor on days, nights and weekends.
Reading through all of the related work takes biblical levels of devotion.
Ph.D. school even comes with built-in vows of poverty and obedience.
The end brings an ecclesiastical robe and a clerical hood

    7. Ignore the committee

Some Ph.D. students forget that a committee has to sign off on their Ph.D.
It’s important for students to maintain contact with committee members in the latter years of a Ph.D. They need to know what a student is doing.
It’s also easy to forget advice from a committee member since they’re not an everyday presence like an advisor.
Committee members, however, rarely forget the advice they give.

    8.Aim too low

Some students look at the weakest student to get a Ph.D. in their department and aim for that.
This attitude guarantees that no professorship will be waiting for them.
And, it all but promises failure.
The weakest Ph.D. to escape was probably repeatedly unlucky with research topics, and had to settle for a contingency plan.
Aiming low leaves no room for uncertainty.
And, research is always uncertain.

    9. Aim too high

A Ph.D. seems like a major undertaking from the perspective of the student.
It is.
But, it is not the final undertaking. It’s the start of a scientific career.
A Ph.D. does not have to cure cancer or enable cold fusion.
At best a handful of chemists remember what Einstein’s Ph.D. was in.
Einstein’s Ph.D. dissertation was a principled calculation meant to estimate Avogadro’s number. He got it wrong. By a factor of 3.
He still got a Ph.D.
A Ph.D. is a small but significant contribution to human knowledge.
Impact is something students should aim for over a lifetime of research.
Making a big impact with a Ph.D. is about as likely as hitting a bullseye the very first time you’ve fired a gun.
Once you know how to shoot, you can keep shooting until you hit it.
Plus, with a Ph.D., you get a lifetime supply of ammo.
Some advisors can give you a list of potential research topics. If they can, pick the topic that’s easiest to do but which still retains your interest.
It does not matter at all what you get your Ph.D. in.
All that matters is that you get one.
It’s the training that counts–not the topic.

    10. Miss the real milestones

Most schools require coursework, qualifiers, thesis proposal, thesis defense and dissertation. These are the requirements on paper.
In practice, the real milestones are three good publications connected by a (perhaps loosely) unified theme.
Coursework and qualifiers are meant to undo admissions mistakes. A student that has published by the time she takes her qualifiers is not a mistake.
Once a student has two good publications, if she convinces her committee that she can extrapolate a third, she has a thesis proposal.
Once a student has three publications, she has defended, with reasonable confidence, that she can repeatedly conduct research of sufficient quality to meet the standards of peer review. If she draws a unifying theme, she has a thesis, and if she staples her publications together, she has a dissertation.

Needing to adapt to the new times, Satan decided to get rid of a whole lot of his stock of temptations. He placed an ad in the newspaper and attended his customers all day in his workshop.
It was a fantastic stock: stones for the virtuous to stumble over, mirrors for increasing one’s self-importance, and spectacles that reduced the importance of others. Some objects hanging on the wall drew a lot of attention: a dagger with a curved blade to be used on someone’s back, and tape-recorders that registered only gossip and lies.

– Don’t worry about the price! – shouted old Satan to the potential customers. – Take it home today and pay for it whenever you can!

One of the visitors noticed three tools lying in a corner that seemed to be quite worn and attracted little attention. But they were very expensive. Curious, he wanted to know the reason for that apparent discrepancy.
– They are worn because they are the ones that I use most of all – answered Satan with a laugh. – If they drew a lot of attention, people would know how to protect themselves.

– However, they are both worth the price I am asking for them: one is Doubt, the other is the Inferiority Complex, the third is Bitterness. All the other temptations can sometimes fail, but these three always work.

A goose who was plucking grass upon a common thought herself affronted by a horse who fed near her; and in hissing accents, thus addressed him: “I am certainly a more noble and perfect animal than you, for the whole range and extent of your faculties is confined to one element.”
“I can walk upon the ground as well as you; I have, besides, wings, with which I can raise myself in the air; and when I please, I can sport on ponds and lakes, and refresh myself in the cool waters. I enjoy the different powers of a bird, a fish and a quadruped.”

The horse, snorting somewhat disdainfully, replied: “It is true you inhabit three elements, but you make no very distinguished figure in any one of them. You fly, indeed; but your flight is so heavy and clumsy, that you have no right to put yourself on a level with the lark or the swallow.”
“You can swim on the surface of the waters, but you cannot live in them as fishes do; you cannot find your food in that element, nor glide smoothly along the bottom of the waves.”
“And when you walk, or rather waddle, upon the ground, with your broad feet and long neck stretched out, hissing at everyone who passes by, you bring upon yourself the derision of the beholders.”

“I confess that I am formed only to move upon the ground; but how graceful is my make! How well turned my limbs! How highly finished my whole body! How great my strength! how astonishing my speed! I had much rather be confined to one element, and be admired in that, than be a goose in all!”

1. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
4. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados. “Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
6. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
7. Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala.. one falls and everything else falls!
16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze. 17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
20. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
21. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”
22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
29. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
30. Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!
31. It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent on committing suicide!
32. He is as innocent as a freshly laid egg!
33. When you are dining with the demons, you’ve got to have a long spoon!
34. All that comes from a cow is not milk!
35. Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!
36. The gap between bat and pad is so wide you could have driven a car through.
37. He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
38. You cannot ride a seat-less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums.

Infosys + Sholay

Amitabh: Mausi ladka “Infy” mein kaam karta hai…
Mausi: Hai raam…

Amitabh: Aajkal allocated bhi hai…
Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????

Amitabh: Ab C rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi…
Mausi: To kya C rating bhi aati hai uski????

Amitabh: PL se ladaai karne ke baad A ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi…
Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????

Amitabh: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban…
Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????

Amitabh: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi…
Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????

Amitabh: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!
Amitabh: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??
Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Infy waale se kabhi nahin karegi…….

Bawra Mann!!

The song – Bawara Mann-from the movie Hazaaron Khwahishien aisi, is a classic one which explicitly measures the horizons of heart in this radical world of living. I heard and experienced this song with my friend Raj ( Thanks to him for the motivation to write this post) today , during the process of electives bidding in IIM lucknow ( Casino IIM ).

Well the portrayal of the protagonist in the movie is an ultimate example of unmatched love, sacrifice and care and moreover the song below ( with lyrics) is a classic contrast of how obsessed anybody can be with his bawra mann and his thoughts.

Anybody who has not seen the movie must definitely see and feel the essence of relations, which is aptly pictured in the movie. The film deals with the spirit of the country during emergency days of Indian history while Indira Gandhi was the PM.

The song is awesome and beautifully brings out the inner voice of heart which seems to be losing its value in this materialistic world.


Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein
Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen
Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage
Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se, Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna.
Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho
Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho
Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan
Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan
Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye, Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,
Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

“Everyone needs love”, I thought to myself, trying hard to hold back my tears, as one of the child in Rajkiya Balgraha orphanage was consoled by my colleague and the child hugged her up crying.

It was 26th Jan, Republic day in India, and we had arranged a puppet show for the children in the orphanage. We reached there at 3:00 pm and children, just after their lunch, were full of energy and enthusiasm. They are a total of 104 in that orphanage. Well the senior students were out playing cricket while the smaller guys were basking the sun. We were greeted by the manager of the orphanage but subsequently the children were elated to see us there. They flocked us in groups, each one of us, sharing, chatting and catching our hands and then one of them made each IIM Disha members their favourites so that they roam besides us with pride to “compete”.
They had hoisted the flag in the morning but were unaware that it was the republic day being celebrated. We made them aware of the importance of this day and also of other national holidays. They recited those to us with a military type salute – The sweetest moment of the day.

They were very excited to get balloons and building block games too. Watching them I just remembered our days when we used to press our parents for toys and we needed them every month. How lucky we were! These children are devoid of such a privilege and the shine in their eyes after receiving that simple game and that craving minds after inflating the balloon, sent a sensation down my spine. I prayed God to bless the innocent souls.
The puppet show was a hit. Children enjoyed a lot and finally had their snacks which we had arranged – samosas, ladooos and mixture.

Life has a strange phenomenon. It’s all luck that we all are born in family which is in well being. A thought crossed my mind when I saw those kids yesterday. This was my second visit to the place and I just thought – “what if I were one of them?” , Well, the very thought of it sent shivers in my heart. 8-10 years old kids, with no dad or mum to hand around or brothers/sisters to share life.103 others of the same kind. More of a survival issue let alone – living life. 3 rooms for 104 kids. Sleeping curdled with 30-35 guys in a room with total of 10 beds and when I was a kid I needed a complete bed of my own. Total of 20 bathrooms for 104 guys with no water supply in toilets. If you do enter the area, you are sure to vomit. With senior boys having the responsibility of cooking food for the group, I wondered, what all stuffs would I had been able to make when i was around 12-14. And look at them! They made the complete breakfast, dinner and lunch for 104 persons/ day. We still crib of the food outside, of mess and stuff; I guess these kids too had a chance to do the same.
Life is at opposite poles for these kids of what ideal life ought to be (may be what u n I had experienced ourselves). Just imagine, with no family around, no one talks of a word of kindness to them. It’s always caretaker’s rules, PT sir’s orders and then all other boys frustrations. And in that circumstances suppose you fall ill, there will be no dad to take u to hospital and no mom to sit beside u all night with a drenched cloth on ur forehead. You will be all alone. If at all U are hungry – make n eat urself. If U have to study – do it urself (am sure every one of us would have studied with our parents when we were so young). If U have to take bath – do it urself. U have to wash ur own clothes, clean ur rooms, beds, and last but not the least if u have to sleep- just go to sleep yourself. There will be no one to sing you Loris or place d soothing hand on your hairs.

Most of the kids here are brought by police when they found these kids begging or working in hotels or eloping alone. Some of their parents were in jails, some didn’t even know their parents and some were in hope (A Mammoth word) that they would be taken away some day.
Looking at those kids, I always get jostled from within.
They have a small playground with a hand pump at the centre. They maintain their lawns petty well but still much has to be done to at least make that place well equipped with basic amenities. We have taken the initiative for that and this time in a big way.
As I said one kid had made us their favourites and mine kid’s name was incidentally also ‘Sanjay’. He held my hand wherever he went and made me see all his favourite places. It was awesome. His innocence, his deep feelings, his respect and his selfless attachment made me feel very important person for him. Finally he gave me a rose flower (my most cherished gift ever, this was my first one I ever received in my life till date) and said – “ Bhaiya aap jaldi aana, main aapka intazar karunga”. This time I hugged him with all my warmth. I could feel the emotions and the heartbeat of the most innocent soul on earth as I promised to return back soon. It’s rightly said – “All beautiful things in life are for free”.
I just hope that our hug would have given him some confidence and security which, I guess, we all always need in life. Nevertheless I realized one thing –“They were very brave hearts’. They had all the reasons to be happy, to sing, to dance and above all to live life. I realized one thing – “Life can be disastrous to them but could not break them because it’s them who will decide their own destiny.” I realized that – after a certain phase of hardships, life too become helpless and it has to bow down to the undying fighting attitude of (hu) mankind. I realized this for Rajkiya Balagraha kids – “They were all Alone but not at all Lonely.’

Well its just 3 stories of the legend – Sir Steve Jobs.Its inspring,motivating,eye opener and above all sends a chill down Ur spine. His amazing experience inspires us to do 1 simple thing in life – “Follow our hearts” – and the rest will follow. His artistically drafted speech also makes us ponder our purpose of existence. ” Dont settle”, is his advice till we find that thing in life which we enjoy. Till then – “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish” , says Steve Jobs, an epitome of success. With golden feathers in his cap, this is a must see video of Steve Jobs, which every1 must see and reflect because,finally, it doesn’t matter what others say about us but it matters a lot what we say to ourselves in front of the mirror every morning.

Go ahead friends.Enjoy.

Few years back when I was undergoing my engineering degree, we came across a saying worth following – ‘Stay Hungry, Stay foolish’, by Steve Jobs. One of my friend and I had a huge argument over the word – foolish- as he said “how can one be successful if one is FOOLISH?” I just replied him back – “Well, the choice is urs – want to be successful – living others lives or want to be satisfied – living ur own dreams!!!” Life is all about chasing ur dreams and listening to ur hearts. And this exactly is the theme of the movie – 3 Idiots, I saw (rather experienced) yesterday.
3 Idiots is not about idiots or nincompoops. It’s about three engineering students who believe in ‘I’ll Do It On my Terms’ .and that’s what the three characters achieve in life and that’s what Hirani, Chopra, Aamir eventually achieve at the end of the cinema. The message is loud and clear – especially to Indian society where a son/daughter’s fate is sealed the moment he/she is born and that is to become an engineer, doctor or lawyer – “ Don’t settle till u find what u love to do, because, only then your work will become your hobby”.
The movie has very elegantly thrown light on 3 basic issues / consequences of/in Indian gurukul system:
1) Most of the Indian students doesn’t have the realization as to which is the field they want to really pursue and can excel rather than being utterly confused as to why they are doing the course which doesn’t excite them much.

I have literally seen people mugging up in final year of engineering, just before the placement interviews, as to why they did engineering and what are their short term and long term plans. These things should be crystal clear since day 1 you pursue any course and please make sure u do that because you want to do that. Your neighbour Chopra uncle is not going to help you out when in future you realize that you are in soup. Convince the people who matters (according to me that’s only our parents) and move on.

2)All suicides ( students) in the country are not suicides but MURDERS!!!

This is a fact that all those who commit suicides are forced to do so due to this illogical and biased education system in the country. Its sheer mental pressure due to CG, grades, jobs, social culture, etc which forces a young budding intellect to take this drastic step. CG and grades just test your mugging skills in India. Toppers would not be able to have a ½ hour discussion on practical aspects of the theory which they mugged up and topped. Rather the students who scored lesser grades and know how to apply it are real winners in life. This will only show up when they turn up to their jobs where hardly any top successful executives ,of reputed firms are a gold medallist of their college!!

3)Path is more important than destination!!

15 – 27 is the age where we either worry about the future or crib over the past. We forget to live the present. And this is the exact reason why we should pursue what our heart says since only then we will be satisfied with our lives. 10 years down the line , we will all repent the things which we did not do rather than things we did. So, why wait and crib again after 10 years. Do whatever u want to, it’s now which is in your control. Tomorrow never comes. It’s today, this time, which we can control and make it a moment to cherish.
Cribbing is a fashion now. Everyone cribs (especially in IIM..He he) over system, life, exams, grades, hostel rooms, food etc. The more u crib, the more u get of it. Remember – the secret – “your wish is my command”.

Life is not to end, rather a means to end. It’s a beautiful experience only if we accept it that way. It’s all in our perceptions. It’s unexplainable but realizable that only three things are responsible for our condition now in life – We, we and we. Just a simple question needs to be answered – “What do I really want?” And then focus all our energy to achieve it (not by our brain power but by giving our heart to it, brain will follow ultimately). There is a six sigma guarantee that there will be no deviations from what we wanted if we feel it from our heart rather when we shape it through our head.

And last but not the least – life is not a cake walk. Every one faces hardships and nothing becomes gold without burning. More important is to keep saying – “ALL IS WELL”, to our hearts. Although this will not make things better but this will definitely make our heart strong enough to face hardships and move on.

It was 16:15 hrs when we 5 buddies, after QAM paper and a week long of infamous IIM L mid term rigour, decided to sail though the movie – Love Aaj Kal – starring charismatic Deepika and dude Saif as protagonists. The tempo was on a roll and mind on a high. But what was on the low was the fact that we knew little that the 2.5 Hrs experience of the movie would be a great case study of OB ( Organizational Behaviour ) to discuss upon critically ( They will kill me to again bring OB in this blog…but dears let accept it).

In case you are still reading,the movie – Love Aaj Kal eulogises the importance of heart over head in relations for commitment phobic people. The contrast is crafted beautifully with 70’s love plot , where it is all heart that existed and have no place for head-heart clashes. This is very true in present arena where both X & Y chromosomes counterparts view their career of utmost importance in 21st century. The movie depicts contrasting Indian culture values, where a breakup party being celebrated, a khula saand concept and a ‘2 day marriage sorry’, really are hard to digest but the very fact is that , Imtiaz Ali touched the aching misery of the current generation very wisely and artistically.
The point of discussion after reviewing the movie was – Well, the very 1st scene in which Saif talks of breakup ,Deepika accepts and both of them take a decision to part ways. Did Deepika in turn wanted the other way round and she just gave in to saif’s request due to some other factors ( depicted form her facial expressions ) or she too wanted to part ways? ——- Lets assume that the first logic is true then the only thing which stopped Deepika to put her heart out was her ‘ego’, who wanted a life long commitment from saif but could not get it. She was successful in life and she didnt want to show her weakness to her partner. She ‘surface acted’ to hide her inner feelings and put up a laconic face which saif couldn’t understand. The point here is why would she do so? She was into a relation for 2 years and where does an ego factor comes into play after that? If it comes and that too in the crucial period of taking life’s biggest decisions then her feelings were never true. They were ‘surface acting’ throught the period of 2 years and no one was himself/herself with their counterparts.

Secondly, Deepika was the one who after giving consent to break off said that they will not be in touch once they part. How can u go so extremes in fraction of the time in which first- u have to take up the shock what saif is saying, then digest it, then dont show up on ur face, then surface act and then say something which is more extreme than the creator itself. If someone is afraid of distance,changing feeling for their counterparts,it is to be understood that emotions lie in the closeness of soul and not persons themselves. Why do we cherish our parents even if we are far away from them. Its because we are close to them by soul. We can feel them, the every energy of them in our veins. This is what love is. When u cherish the person even being 1000 of miles away from him/her. If u trust God, U must also believe in His energy.
I read it somewhere – ‘ Life is nothing if we get everything but Life is everything we miss something in life’. Critics ( 3/5 of us ) argue that Deepika wanted to make Saif realize her worth and thats why she took this stand. Well if this was the case then she would’t have let junior khanna to enter her life and make a commitment of marriage. She realized the true feelings for saif and the chemistry they shared only after saif came to her life again to show what she was missing in life which completed her. As far as saif is concerned, it was only after he hears of Mr Khanna that his ‘ missing in life’ part was revealed. Jealousy is the universal truth what makes men shatter ( Recall the movies – ‘Hum Tumhare hain sanam’ and ‘ Main, meri biwi aur woh’) – BEWARE!!!!

Ego is something which is an enemy to happy life, especially in life craving for emotions. One has to lent his heart out in front of their partner else u will not able to be urself with them, which is a lacuna in relation itself. Only when,u can be what u want to be, say what u want to say and act as u want to act in front of ur life partner, its only then u have found ur soul mate. This is an important factor to keep ‘ expectations’ away from damping ones relations. Why is that some relations with- parents, brothers,sisters,friends,etc are immortal? The simple reason being – u dont expect , rather, u accept the person as they are. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and this is the point that Deepika should have taken care of IF SHE DIDN’T WANT A BREAKUP ( ASSUMPTION).

In case u still have the courage to read further, above are my viewpoints to understand the situation by putting my personality traits to a bigger picture. Somebody else can very well have some other view point. This belief got strenghened in me in due course of time after this heated discussion in auto by 5 of us.We went to insti party the same night and sat down at the end to discuss personal experiences of our emotional lives. Every one faces emotional labour ( pl bear the terms of OB for time being), but the beauty of this life is how we cope up with it. Saif had his own way by making his life hell ( Thanks he didnt turned up in L ), but every individual is different, every situtaion is diverse and every intention of the person in ur life is different. Once the things are messed up, we should critically analyze the reasons for it. Like saif says to Deepika on her marriage eve – ‘ u could have persuaded me, forced me, i would have given a thought to it’.
‘Every relation has a happy ending. If its not happy, its not the end’,the famous lines by Rabindranath Tagore gives us enlightment of true feelings.The good part is written further – ‘ U can be happy with them or with thyself – choice is urs’. I guess any elaboration further to this will be injustice to the beautiful eye opener by d maestro.
We have been reading since our childhood – ‘ Man is a gregarious animal’. In short it says we are a social animal. Society is what keeps us bounded. Being social is a way to release stress – as says our OB theory ( this time am anti so u guys can chill ……….) but this is more like finding happiness in others rather than being contended with thyself. This is where expectations come in. This is where relations go astray. And this is where we have EMOTIONAL LABOUR. My point is to demarkate being social and being emotional with others. Social is something we are with acquantances but emotions are something u can share with only like mided people. It may be ur parents, brother,sister,collegues or friends. My mom once said – ‘ U r ur best friend always since others can only grasp 20 % of what u r feeling because its u who is going thru those emotions’. I have always found this true with an exception. The exception is that besides me only my mother can grasp 100 % of what am going through and may be we can generalize this exception to every1.

To summarize
1)Deepika was not surface acting for breakup till at least breakup party gets over.
2) Insti party is a great time to share our emotional dissonance.
3) Like minded people and not society takes away stress from you.
Smells like a half cooked meal….

An alumni of 93 batch and an entrepreneur since day 1, Mr Kaushal was here tonight to give insights if his life. Well he shared his myths which he had and the hard way that he learnt the reality. He talked of 2001 depression when his whole of business shattered and he didn’t even had money to pay for his  4 year daughter’s school’s fees. He was in Germany then , struck by a massive earthquake, living in a tent and having 1 meal per day for 5 days and 6 nights.Well the very thought of it sent shivers to my spine but then i wondered what it was ( apart from hailing from IIM & his passion ) that made him sail through the blunt stick of  life.

I asked him this after his lecture in personal and the reply sent a second shock down my spine.His ansewer was – ‘ My wife’.

He said, ‘She was from a banker’s family with no exposure to entrepreneurs in her life so she was all the time skeptical of my business which was very uncertain. Right from day 1 she had warned me of my failures and i always promised her that it can never go wrong. ‘I am an IIM grad and can turn things around’. She asked – ‘is that a word?’ and i said – ‘ya it is’.And the worse happened.I was shattered with sweat on my face in cold winter everytime i met with my financers, insurance providers.’ He continued, ‘ well it was then that having bankrupcy cought my nerve and i sold my car, mortgaged my home but at the same time was very guilty for my family. ‘Do i have to shut all down?’, What will i earn. What about my words to my wife? And I was shattered. But at that moment of time my wife gave me a management lesson which i couldn’t gain my lifetime. It was – I trust u and so will ur investors if u r honest.’ She reminded me, ‘ U r an IIM grad, u can turn things around. Its very simple. ‘ She stood by me in those times and i now have a 10 Cr turnover. Thanks to Manasi.’ , he ended mesmerising all of us.

Well this really checked my myths in life. May be its an coincidence that I saw Lakshya movie this afternoon and thinking of Preity Zinta saying Hrithik after he left NDA and came back – ‘ U cannot take care of ur words, what can u take care of me…….’, i felt a surge to ponder that – is words that important than emotions? Is it that what u say u have to adhere ,come what may!!! I feel this a hardliner of life which every1 of us should demarcate and move on. Life shows us ways to live up. Better learn it an easy way………..

Sights of Hunger

Well before i lent out heart out,let me first wish my best friend – Roshan ‘Happy B’day’today – 18th July’09.Well this day also reminds me of the great ‘Black night’ we hostellites had after our 1st year of engg.,the description of which is banned to write out here.Only 12 of us knows what we underwent ( n I hope it always remains within us only).

Now today, 6 yrs after our then black night, here am I in IIM Lucknow facing tuff times( Black days u can call). Every1 wait for the weekends in life, but not IIML  deciples. Weekends means load for which 48 hrs too falls short.Anyway thats IIML – positioned 3rd in rigour globally after MIT & IIM A. The good thing is that its raining out,the weather is chilled and moreover i can feel all types of reptiles hovering around my room,looking for some space/food.

This reminds me a theory which we read in our OB class – Hunger and sight.Well it says about the psychology of people that when ever we are hungry we always loose sight of things around us. We stay focused on as if all nerves of our body are feeding stomach and while we move around to look for mess,gupta’s,nescafe or amul outlets( All inside IIM), we miss the other events inside the campus. This is very true not only in this direct context but other contexts too. When we are perceptually hungry, we miss out things which are worth experiencing at that period of time.

To take this further, suppose u r very hungry – didnt had dinner last night and couldn’t have ur breakfast too and u have to attend a ‘ Behaviour in organization’ class of 1.5 hrs- Will u get a word of the world class teaching there? To be true- NO is the answer.But the things tought there are very cruicial- every1 knows what quizzes are all about,its class concentration n u r thru.

The same applies to our life too. When we are too hungry to get something- pride,dreams,aim,relations etc, we miss out other good things in life which we deserve-love,care,life. Well its said that – Success is not a destination but a journey. This is a very thought provoking quotation, since this is what is lacking in today’s fast world. Destination is a aim but journey are moments and life is all about moments. U may be  a gr8 individual today but the transformation to this state is more exciting rather than state itself. SRK meant the same thing in chak de india where he said –‘ U have got 70 minutes,play it to ur full satisfaction.Dont repent later of having performed better.’ Life moments are precious, live each moment to its fullest.If u concentrate on only hunger,u will miss out the other living moments of ur life.

I came across 2 statements which covey different tone n meaning:

1st – India is a country overcrowded with people &  undershadowed with sunshine.

2nd – India is a country with bright people and bright sunshine.

I dont know but this caught my attention as to how much of our attitude depends  on our ways of percieving things that drives our life. ‘The secret’ book says – think +ve and u see world turning around u. When some1 wants something and wants it badly, the whole world conspires to create situations that favours the same.

To sum up , to make things move and to be satisfied in life, 2 ingredients are very important in life and thats trust & respect. Trust urself,trust ur loved ones,trust life,trust destiny and the world will show tremendous trust on u. Also last but not the least – we should respect others,their decisions,their choices,their family and above all we should respect life to be so humble and accepting to us.

He walks into the IIM L canteen with his sticks.Bold,confident,independent & of course smart enough to face life. 377 others did the same when they took registration on 26th of June’09 but there is something different in 4 guys /gals which are with us. Well, everytime i look them , I pass 3 phase of emotions in a flash.First i feel ( am happy about the fact that i feel) saddened and sympathetic about their condition. Then the next moment i realize the fact that there is nothing to be sympathetic about and sympathy a trait of the weak and these guys are not weak rather they are double fold stronger than normal us. And in the next instant i feel proud and a bliss dawns on me that, well, although that they are in such a turmoil in their life, they were able to achieve so much just as any other guy/gal. We feel proud of our achievement and I feel proud of their ahievements too because they teaches us – ‘Live Life – Its Beautiful’.
If u run ur thoughts a bit more, one will realize that every1 in life has a depressing phase of life where we are actually sad about something. We lost some1 very dear, didn’t perform good in life, had to break a relation or not able to visualize the ultimate objective of life but then again do u opine that all these petty things would have mattered if we were in the shoes of a person who couldn’t walk without sticks, or a right hander who cannot use his right hand ever or better a women who has to always hold her underdeveloped leg or a gal with under growth? I think that of all losses these are the losses which no one can account for and the guy/gal has 2 options then – mourn,that roses have thorns or better appreciate the fact that thorns have roses ( I was searching for this phrase all my life it seems).These guys / gals in IIML have chosen the latter one and ought to be saluted for this – ‘For living a beautiful respected life’.
Relations in life is important. I read somewhere( a bit long one so pl bear) – A boy/girl is said to be in true love with a his/her partner not if he/she marries her/him when she/he is hail and hearty ( every1 can do that) but rather he/she marries her/him when he/she comes to know that the girl/guy has fallen off the roof of a second floor and cannot walk his whole life ( Now thats real care n feelings) . Now thats seems philosophical but this is a fact that nowadays relations are fashion. He/she will be in relation for their personal interests and the moment the person follows their respective dreams or other obligations, its all over. Well this is not love rather a blot in the pious feeling which dawns to a rare few who makes their ‘life beautiful’.
Love is not when perfect people comes together but when imperfect people crosses each other.Just like these gutty guys/gals in IIM who made sure that the imperfections in their life had nothing to do with their success stories. And further more i am sure success will kiss their lives in future too just for the simple fact that they have realized the importance of being well off in simple basics. Most of us lack that.Since childhood,we got every toy we wanted,reached to places where we aimed and had relations which carried us but yet then again we all in a way has not realized what 1/3 rd of india realizes everyday.And that is REAL LIFE. We can afford pizzas when there exixts a family in dreaded hunger with no chapptis to feed their children. We live in ac’s and coolers and still curse when some families live beneath open sky and a hatched house whether its 45 deg heat or 2 deg CHILL. We spend 1/3 of our savings in new clothes while some in India are very happy with our discarded clothes and makes their limited life beautiful.
My intention is not to make all of us live in huts, without ac’s and wear tattered clothes but rather my intention is to make a point in life to look at larger pictures. Appreciate the song ‘ khao pio aish karo mitron, dil par kisi ka dukhayo na………..’.This has a meaning, deep meaning. One has no right to play with the hearts of the person in front of u just because you have some personal belief. 22-25 years that person if front of you have had his/her own beliefs with their parents. Respect that and their parents too and u will get respect back to make ur social life also beautiful.
May be I am more of theoretical models in my writings but well its not exactly like that. And more over respect your parents. I believe that parents are those persons in life whose blessings take us to places. Being a bit mythological, Sri Ram went to vanvas for 14 years, leaving everything, just because his parents said so. Never deny ur parents, only they are perfect in life. Everything else is secondary. Everything else will follow. Just like ( being mythological again) Sita maa followed Ramji to vanvas when she had an option to stay in ayodhya back. This is what true love is. This is what life is. This is what takes us to a position when we realize how important it is to be well off. And this is the time you start taking life as roses on thorns.
Last but not the least, everytime i see my 4-5 collegues in IIM, i just remember a phrase which makes me feel good. It goes – ‘ Life will show u 100 reasons to cry. Show life that u have 1000 reasons to smile.’ I have started to respect what i have got, I pray to God everyday to help me to change things around me which I can and help accept things which i cannot. To end with i would like to again go back to a bollywood song which has a deep eternal meaning in this context – ‘ Barbadiyon ka shok manana fizool tha,barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya……….Main jindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya…..’. Its all in our minds to make our ‘LIVES BEAUTIFUL’.